Another election, another party

Ahhhhh,......the ever familiar scent of a bi-election. Newspapers are full of stories, websites and blogs are abuzz. Coffee table analysts are speculating. And Zahid forms another party. Just an average day/month in the life of us Malaysians. Oh, my deepest sincerest apologies as I should have started this post with "Salam 1 Malaysia" What a crock of !@$%....

Not so long ago when I was attending primary school (ok it was very long ago), there was no such concept. Why was there no such concept? Because there was no need for such a concept. This is a rather touchy subject so I'll have to walk this line carefully. But one is not able to walk this line carefully because this is about racial unity, or the lack of it. How can one talk about this subject with pissing (pardon my french) somebody off? Well, either you talk about it or your don't. I'm sure I will get multiple reactions but so what...I only have like 3 followers LOL.

1Malaysia was created to address....well....I don't need to write about why it was created. It was created, so be it. OK, well, it was created to bring the people of Malaysia closer together. But I ask you, why do we have to bring the people of Malaysia closer together? We were already very close when I was in primary school. At least this is my believe. Schools were like a mini United Nations. You can look in any class and find a good mix of malays, chinese, indians and even perhaps a few sikhs. Again, this is what I remember it to be. Today when I look in side the class of my daughters, the mix is strangely missing. Why is this so? Well why else? Create alternative schools in the form of islamic schools, chinese schools and indian schools. Now what do you think will happen when these types of schools are created? Do you need three guesses? I am not saying these schools should not have been created or allowed to flourish but.....I mean.......come on man, what do you think will happen? Do I sound like a broken record? Perhaps, but seriously, the creation of these types of schools will lead to the unintended segregation of students by races. Now was that very difficult? I am sure there are many reasons behind this but whatever the reasons, it had happened and now gone are the days that you will find a "united nations" type mix in classes. So where did we go wrong?

I myself am not entirely sure where we went wrong. But we did. And today, as much as I hate to say it, the best teachers and the highest paid teachers, are in these schools. Why? because most of them are privately run. Why? because most of these are or will be changed into International Schools. So, sorry to say, who are left? Well...walk into most government run schools or sekolah kebangsaan, and you will see. My wife and I are products of these normal schools. Not private schools, not chinese schools, not Indian schools, not islamic schools. Did we turn out ok? I would like to think so. But today I cannot seem to find the same mix and environment in schools. And being old school, no pun intended, I cannot bring myself to send my children to private or international schools. If it was good enough for us, it's good enough for our children. Unfortunately I am beginning to think it may not be true for all of us. I had my children in a particular school. Now I have them in another school. Why? the school that I transferred my children to had better teachers; as in more experience. They have better results than most schools in the country. They have a better balance between co-curriculum and education. But the "united nations" mix is still not there.

Take a walk on the streets nowadays. Take a walk in schools nowadays. Take a walk in universities and colleges nowadays. Take a walk around a mall or food court nowadays. You will most likely see groups of students from the same race running in the same pack. I would not be exaggerating to say out of 10, you will be hard pressed to find 1 having a good racial mix. This is why I am concerned. I am not generalizing. This is what I see. This is what I observe. This is not how I grew up. I did not need 1Malaysia when I grew up. We were already 1Malaysia. Why is there a need to create 1Malaysia? because somewhere along the way, somethings changed. Somethings were encouraged to flourish. Somethings were not put to a halt. Somethings were not governed. Is there someone to blame? Not really. There are a collection of people to blame. In some civilized countries, these collection of people are known as the government. Both the ruling parties and the opposition parties. Am I blaming everyone? No, I am blaming the government. Am I blaming any particular government? No, because the government has changed quite a few times since I was in primary school. But this has been allowed to manifest and now it has reached the stage where 1Malaysia absolutely HAD to be introduced. I don't think it needs to be introduced to my generation or the one before me. I don't know. Perhaps I ma being naive. Perhaps I am being unfair to blame the government. But the entire education system is governed by the government....so even if I wanted to lay blame on some other entity, I am not able. I cannot. Is the entire government bad? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Just the one, two or several branch that looks at this particular segment.

1Malaysia is the first. The second is our education's system absolute stupidity in glorifying students who get 20 As. What is God's great earth is going on here? Ok, I promise to write about this in my next post. But for now, back to 1Malaysia.

Would you agree that 1Malaysia is one way of admitting that "Hang on, we have a problem" ? I would. I am not against the whole idea of 1Malaysia. I just think that had we played our cards right, had we played our cards differently, we may not have to resort to 1Malaysia. Now that we have 1Malaysia, it is up to us to ensure it's success. But we alone will find it difficult without the intervention of the powers that be. They have to take one step back and ask themselves what can we do to make this work?

At the end of the day, we need to be responsible and take things into our own hands. We are after all (or will be) parents. We will be the first teachers that our children meet. We will be the ones our children look to for education, for guidance, to be a role model, to be a friend, to be a mentor. And guess what, all of this will happen before they to go a proper School. I hate to sound cliched but the children are our future.

Tagore once said, "To build a nation first build a school"

Waka Waka - This Time for Africa

Everyone and their neighbour has something to say about the World Cup so I'm on the proverbial bandwagon as well. Why not? This momentous event occurs only once every four years. Yes yes I know there is a large sporting event that occurs every so often; which is what the wives/girlfriends will say: Euro, EPL, Olympics, and the list goes on. It's interesting to note that the love of my life (and yes that would be my wife so perish the thought) gave me a very clever analogy: "It's like watching Sex and The City every night for a whole month!!!" Yes dear, the first few days will be like watching Sex and The City 3 times a night, and then the next few days 2 times a night and finally once a night. Conclusion: watching Sex and the City 64 times in a month. More often than not I would have something smart to say but for the life of me I don't know a single thing about Sex and The City except for the fact the show involves 4 women, tens of fantasies, hundreds of men/relationships and God only knows how many horizontal mambo!! So to all my female readers (all of 2 at this moment), forgive my lack of knowledge about this analogy to the World Cup.

Anyway, for those who are not aware, here is a short history lesson. The first World Cup was held in 1930 and every four years since then EXCEPT for 1942 and 1946 when everyone was busy fighting in World War II. There are always 32 teams competing in the World Cup but each and every country in the world who is a member of FIFA is eligible to compete in the World Cup qualifiers. And since 1930, there have been 18 tournaments and surprising enough, only 7 nations have been crowned World Cup Champion: Brazil, Italy, Argentina, England, Uruguay, Germany and France. So it is safe to conclude that 1 of these 7 teams will once again lift the glorious title.

What is it about the World Cup that makes it such a event? It is not actually an event, because soccer is life. It is the only game that is played more than any other game on this planet. It is the only game that is watched by over 700 million inhabitants of mother earth. Imagine this, 198 nations played in the 2006 qualifiers and 204 in this. And what do all these nations play for? A small trophy called the Jules Rimet trophy. A small trophy compared to other trophies, it stands only 36 cm tall BUT is made of 18 carat solid gold. It weighs exactly 6.175 kg. When a team wins the World Cup, they are awarded the Jules Rimet,...but not to keep. No. They merely hang on to it until the next World Cup where they return it to FIFA and they are given a gold-plated replica. Brazil was the first nation who were awarded the Jules Rimet....TO KEEP. This momentous occasion occured in 1970 when Brazil won the World Cup for the third time. Now hear this. The Jules Rimet WAS STOLEN...yes stolen in 1983, never to be recovered. Experts suspect the thieves melted the cup for it's 18 carat solid gold. Go figure....

Here we are, in 2010 and it's South Africa's turn to host the World Cup. South Africa being a nation full of history and culture was bound to produce exciting songs and dances. If you haven't heard of the official song, just Google K'naan or Waving Flag to hear it. It is catchy beyond belief so much so my daughters are now learning the dance associated with this song. How? By watching the Celcom Bears performing it. It is already catchy but once you see the Celcom Bears performing it...you'll be dancing before you know it :) K'naan is a stage name, his real name is Keinan Abdi Warsame. His aunt, Magool, is one of Somalia's most famous singers. Yes Somalians do sing contrary to popular belief. K'naan's grandfather Haji Mohammad was a poet. This man has rhythm coursing in his blood. Another great song emerging from this World Cup is Waka Waka.

Waka Waka is catchy, if not even more catchy than Waving Flag. And yes it has it's own dance steps which my daughters are still learning but singing the chorus? anytime! Again, Google Waka Waka and enjoy Shakira doing what she does best !

As Malaysians enjoy a month of Waving Flag, we are also inevitably hit by the baggy eye syndrome or lack of sleep as some call it. Some will watch it at home, others will watch it at the melting pot of Malaysians - the mamak shop. Why? cause this game has to be watched with friends, colleagues, neighbours, family members..total strangers even. It is a celebration that has to be shared with others. When your team scores you can stand up and do the Waka Waka on your sofa at 3am in the morning in your living room all by yourself, or you can shout, scream, celebrate high fives with people from all walks of life, race, religion, color..it simply doesn't matter. Only the World Cup can bring people together.

It is a spectacle to behold because once every four years, we put aside our differences. We put aside our politics. We put aside rank. We put aside race and religion. Once every four years we are united. United by this simple game. 22 men chasing a ball. When you reflect over hundreds or thousands of years of history, it is the simplest of things that bring people together.

Words of summary simply fail me at this moment...so i leave you with lyrics from Waving Flag:

"When I get older, I will be stronger, They'll call me freedom just like a wavin' flag"

Price of doing sales

I have been in the sales line for over 16 years which is why the topic for this round revolves around sales. It is an honorable profession. It is an old profession, perhaps as old as the infamous oldest profession.......if not older. Why I say it is probably older than the world's oldest profession is because the said service must first be "sold" to the purchasing party. Hence even before the world's oldest profession had it's first "proof of concept" the idea had to first be sold. Therefore, if one were to look at it from this point of view, it further reinforces Sales as the world's oldest profession.

It must have been quite a sight to witness the first Salesman (or Saleswoman as it were) attempting to sell their services. I am quite confident there were no specific sales methodology adopted in the selling process or cycle. Each must have had their own unique proposition. Each could have employed various tricks or techniques to entice the suitor their way. Some with attractive dressing, others with promises of mind boggling positions and yet others with hefty discounts. And as evolution would have it, all of these metamorphosed into structured methodology. Thus was born the modern salesman.

The birth of the modern salesman would have occurred circa late 1800s or early 1900s. Companies such as Eastman Kodak, Coca Cola, Wrigleys, GE and a few others can be credited for developing modern sales techniques and the creation of procedures for management. Prior to this, however, your average salesman is pretty much independent...travelling on his own time, managing his own schedules, routes and customer meetings. As long as sales were being generated, numbers were met, it mattered not how the salesman operated. Now, with the advent of structured sales methodologies, things had to change; and fast.

Don't get me wrong, structure sales methodologies are a good thing. It takes the individual out of the equation. Even if a salesman quit his job, methodologies ensure that another poor sod can take over with relative ease. Routes are planned. Customers evaluated prior to the salesman's departure. His every movement is recorded in reports and receipts. Some even instructs how a salesman should stand while talking to a customer or what to say via templated sales scripts. In short, they aim to make salesmanship uniform and, more importantly, predictable. Predictable salesmanship....what a concept !

With predictability came products, services, courses, etc, where, for a sinful amount of money, one can be thought to be a predictable salesman. Valuevision, TAS, SSM, SPIN and many many more will help one accomplish this goal. Having personally gone through many of these courses, I must say that one begins to see a commonality native to all of these. To quote someone (though i really don't know who made this saying famous though he/she may be rather shady) "there are many ways to skin a cat". End of the day, the cat is skinned. Same with sales methodologies......end of the day, the sale is made. Do i prefer one over the other? Not really.....and please perish the thought as I am obviously not referring to one particular method of skinning a feline over another. What I think is missing from all of these is a quality that cannot be put on paper...the IT factor. Whether you've got IT or you don't. Not everyone can be a salesman. Ever bought something from an individual that you don't really need? Why did you buy it? Because the person who sold it to you is an exceptional salesman.

There was an article in Time Magazine some time back about a truly remarkable salesman who made his way through university selling salesmanship courses. His signature closing line was "if you can't make up your mind faster than that, this course won't do you any good" and many a deal did he close. This individual also managed to sell over 42,000 units of a new type of home appliance before a single unit came off the production line. And this was no Proton. Hmmmm......Proton, a topic for another time. Yes, there are some people who are just born with IT. Yes you are born with IT. IT cannot be thought. IT cannot be created or destroyed. Reminds me of the First Law of Thermodynamics during school days. Before I jump completely off topic, I had a close friend who after a moment of inspiration decided to prove that 1 + 1 = 3. Till today we are still not sure what the inspiration was but it may have involved questionable substances that make you go "oh...what pretty colours" !!

Back to the topic of IT. One has to also understand that there is a fine line between IT and being a "used car salesman". Dilbert put's it nicely in his book a few years ago titled "Dilbert and the way of the Weasel" by introducing a new theory that "...people are huge, stinkin weasels" This book explores the Weasel Zone which is defined as a gray area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities; and the rules that govern it. Yes there are some very questionable salesmen in the market and will do anything to close a sale. Why? Is it because he is a weasel? or could it be because sales targets never reduce? I shall leave you to ponder this question.

While many people have mixed reactions about salespeople, they only have positive ones about marketeers. It is glamorous. Salesmanship is not. So why did I do sales for the past 16 years? Honestly, I didn't when i started out. However I found out that whatever work we do in whatever company we do it in, there is an element of salesmanship. So I indirectly became a salesman and never stopped.

I have a book to recommend "Ten Things I Learned from Bill Porter - Shelly Brady"

And as always....if you find the reading too heavy, pick up any Dilbert book !!

The Agenda

The term "Agenda" has been spoken a lot of lately in my place of employment. In previous times, it held little importance but since the turn of the decade, it's value has shot up exponentially. The term surfaced in December and has since been immensely debated. What exactly does the word mean? What does it signify?

Agenda, in some circles, can be used at the start of meetings, at other times can be used at the beginning of proposals or presentations. However in this case, it is used in the human context. It is used in the political context. As in parliament. As in the struggle and manipulation of power to advance one's career.

In the proverbial White Tower, as can be seen along a highway of some importance, people within have long struggled with career advancement, strategically moving and placing pawns within the virtual battlefield which is the White Tower. The pinnacle of which was the brutal slaying of the white knight. It was about as public as Anwar's reversal entry.

Now that the knight has relocated to a faraway land, he is once again rethinking his strategy, rebuilding his armies, appointing advisors and looking for his new Merlin....trusted friend and right hand man. Whispers in the ether updates that the search continues.

Camelot remains. A new leader was knighted and now the battle of good versus evil begins once again; although at times one has to question where evil actually lies. The ether did provide fair news of turmoil in the evil land, where year on year profit has dropped albeit revenue and subscribers increased by a huge margin.

Pawns are again being moved. Armies being trained. Swords sharpened. Armours polished. Horses fed and watered. The battle for the Holy Grail continues. Leaders come and go. Armies fight; some live and some die. Some live with honour. Others die honorably. And yet others are sacrificed as the strategy of war is morphed from plans to reality. This vicious cycle continue as it has done over the centuries from the times of Genghis to George (Bush not The Jungle although the similarities are quite glaring) and Margaret to Mahathir.

A lot can be learned by observing at a distance the battles, strategies, struggles, agony of defeat and sweet, oh so sweet, taste of victory, which takes place in the boardroom located in Camelot or any other such lands.

A very wise man once said "Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat" but what is ironic is that the same wise man also said that "All war is based on deception". For those of you who are not sure who this wise man was, his strategy for war has been translated and adopted to corporate strategy in companies the world over.

Perhaps all is not in vain...for the same wise man, again, also said "It is essential to seek out enemy agents who have come to conduct espionage against you and to bribe them to serve you. Give them instructions and care for them. Thus doubled agents are recruited and used."

I take my leave....

A Triumphant Return

Yes, a triumphant return indeed. It has been that long since i last pen my thoughts following the demise of the beloved Gloved-one. Where have i been and what have i been doing? Tough one to answer....Whatever it is, i am back. Whether it is with a vengeance or not remains to be seen.

It is now 2010. A new year. And the word NEW couldn't be more appropriate for me and my comrades went through major changes at work. Not major by sheer volume but major by the sheer impact of the change....although it involved but a single individual. What was indeed unusual was not the fact that change occurred but circumstances surrounding it and what seems like a total lack of communication about it. Que sera sera. Nuff said.

So, what am i looking forward to in 2010? A whole lot. I turn 40 this year and as the proverbial wise man says, "Life Begins at 40". Therefore i am looking forward to "Life" this year. Nothing can be more true than the wise Abe himself when he said "And in the end it is not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years"

I was on the phone with a chap at work yesterday. Tried calling several times and could not get through. Finally he returned my call and apologised as he was out jogging. And where was i during this episode? Behind my desk. What is wrong with this picture? Don't get me started. I vaguely recall the term "Jogging". I believe it has something to do with moving one's feet in quick succession while experiencing the feeling of motion. Though you should not take my word for it as i have only vague memories of this picture. But what I will do is perform some research on it tonight. Once the research is concluded, i shall attempt to convert the research to a practical experiment. For i am an expert in theory (Refer to my fishing escapades which i shall promise to write on tomorrow).

I shall provide an update on my research tomorrow. I shall attempt to provide an update on my research tomorrow. For it is a known fact that research takes time, and it has been known to transcend days, weeks, months even.

We shall see...

Farewell Michael

And so it seems everyone and their neighbour is writing something about Michael Jackson in some blog site or on facebook. I, too, am going to write something about the Gloved One. Why? Well...honestly, why not? MJ touched so many of us is so many ways that it would be a travesty not to write about an experience, or a memory, linked to MJ or one of his songs.

This all started a few days ago when my youngest daughter asked me, "Papa, who is Michael Jackson". For those of you who don't know, my youngest will be turning 6 in October later this year. So it is excusable that she doesn't know who MJ is....or, more appropriately, was. A simple question by a 5 year old got me all excited. I whipped out my trusty laptop and punched in youtube.com and started my youngest daughter on MJ videos. My darling wife helped out also. One particular song really got her attention. Thriller. Why that of all songs still baffles me till today. Whatever the reason, i must admit it is one of my all time favorite songs too. Actually, maybe it's not one of my all time favourite songs but rather the video made it what it is. So here we are, sitting with eyes glued to the sight of MJ walking her girlfriend back home, through the dark misty cemetery. Bare in mind that when this song/video was first released, i wasn't even married, let alone have 2 kids. In fact i wasn't even dating yet.

So, then comes time for the Rap. Yes rap. Back in 1983 when Thriller was released, before there was Eminem; or 50 cent; there was Vincent Price. Thriller featured the Vincent Price Rap. My daughter heard the rap and there was i, rapping in the background. For some reason my daughter got such a kick over this. So now every 5 hours or so, she will ask to watch Thriller with Papa rapping in the background. See what effect MJ has on people? Even a 5 year old.

Which brings me to another fond memory. I had this very close friend...still have. To ensure his identity remains secret, i shall name him Hank.....until such time i obtain permission from him to use his real name. Hank, like I, was totally emersed by MJ, his songs and especially his dance moves. Now granted, Hank was just a teeny bit more gifted when it came to putting some moves together. I was good (yeah right) but he was better.

Hank could do an MJ like no one else i knew. The leg kick, the spin and yes....the Moonwalk. Now the moonwalk was a whole other phenomenon. I vividly remember my standing before the TV, preparing to learn the seemingly gravity defying walk. There i was...moonwalk....run to the VCR to rewind....moonwalk....run to the VCR. For you young-uns out there, there was such an invention called the VCR. You could think of it as the grandfather of the recordable DVD of today. So, back to the story. He was so good that now a natural progression would be the wardrobe. Yes, Hank went out abd bought a bright red-ish orange-ish jacket with black stripes, just like the one MJ wore in the video. Now that Hank's image was complete, we went and got ourselves into a band competition and performed, on stage, billie jean (because Thriller was too difficult for the band members to learn).

There we were, in the hall of Bukit Bintang Boys Secondary School, playing away with Hank leading us to glory. Everyone waited for the moment. It was not Motown 25th but it was a moment. Hank spun and prepared for the Moonwalk. I forget if he tossed the hat like MJ but he moonwalked on stage in front of hundreds of screaming fans !! we had arrived. Not sure where were supposed to be going but we had arrived.

I sometimes wonder if Hank still does MJ as it's been a while since we last caught up.

So, Hank, if you ever get the chance to read this, do pen some comments down.

To MJ, you may never know how much you have touched our lives. Even the ones in a small town like Petaling Jaya.....not unlike Gary, Indiana, where you grew up. Where kids used to emulate your moonwalk and your spins.

I was going to end by quoting Al Sharpton's speech at the MJ Memorial but seems more appropriate to quote one of MJ's long forgotten songs...

"People say i'm not okay
Cause i love such elementary things
It's been my fate to compensate
For the childhood i've never known" - Michael Jackson, from his song "Childhood"

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all !! What a joyous celebration indeed...for those who remember. I find it quite ironic that Mother's Day is a hugely celebrated day accross the globe, akin to New Years Day while Fathers Day is also hugely celebrated, akin to Independence Day in Papua New Guinea.



Some useless facts: did you know that the idea for Fathers Day was mooted back in 1909 but was only made an official celebration by President Nixon in 1972? In stark contrast, the roots for Mothers Day may be traced back to the spring celebrations of ancient Greece in honour of Rhea, the mother of the gods. But more recently, another US President, Woodrow Wilson, made it official on 9 May 1914.

(Note: i have absolutely no idea as to the accuracy of the historical facts presented here since these were like the top search results from Google, like you know?)



Don't get me wrong, i will be first in line to echo the sacrifices that mothers all over the world have made over the millenia. Hence the saying "syurga terletak dibawah tapak kaki ibu" or roughly translated "the path to heaven lies beneath mothers feet". This is a metaphor as opposed to a literal translation. So don't go digging beneath your mom's feet as she stands whipping up her secret recipe in the kitchen.

For me, both Father's Day and Mother's Day are extremely special. Let me start with Mother's Day. That falls in May, which is oh so close to my wife's birthday. Double celebration in May !! Now, on to Father's Day which falls in June, which is oh so close to my birthday. Double celebration in June !! I'm sure Ripley would find that rather intriguing. And the creme de la creme: Our wedding anniversary is on 26th May !!! Smack in between Mother's Day, my wife's birthday, my birthday and Father's Day. Now isn't that something.....

It is around this time of the year that love penetrates every nook and corner of our house. Not to say it is any different any other day of the year....oh man, i never learn. Men in general never learn. There are somethings that you just should not bring up. Like trying to be all sweet and romantic by saying this like ".....love penetrates every nook and corner of our house". Yes, you men know what i am talking about. And we all have played Russian Roulette with the wife. Lots of times. "Honey, do you like the dress i am wearing?" "Dear, does this dress make me look fat?" When you hear these questions or ones similar to them, head south !

But seriously, i love my wife tremendously and although i joke with her lot, i believe laughter can bring us closer together then many other traits. Life would be boring if laughter was left in the closet a lot. Speaking of laughter, remind me to tell you about my two lovely daughters first attempt at telling jokes....